Milleniallifecoach

Can I really have it all?

If you have been following my posts, by now you can tell that I have worked many jobs. Most of us are scared of having a hop-scotch resume at a relatively young age and it is a justified fear, human resource professionals often caution against it as it indicates a lack of staying power. With what I have seen now, being employed is more than just checking in and working, your employer invests in you with training, resources and knowledge that will cost them in the event that you up and leave. Our generation is on the border of seeking employment because that is the natural progression of life versus seeking employment that is on your terms. What does a win-win situation look like?

They were small, there were promises that we would build the place together and we could hang out and have fun, get work and play in one. After two weeks, I knew I had made a very big mistake.

The shortest job I’ve ever held was one and a half months. I had just come from a place I really loved but were offering me a poor contract and this new place was the first job offer I had received so I ran with it. As with all new beginnings, the future was bright, the offer was seemingly fair and there was no reason not to take it. I joined, let’s call them agency x, with only a four-day break in between them and the previous job. They were small, there were promises that we would build the place together and we could hang out and have fun, get work and play in one. After two weeks, I knew I had made a very big mistake. At the time, I had been with my partner for three years, his business had just taken off and he had supported me for a while. Being the strong, independent woman that I am, I couldn’t just be a trophy and I was determined to make agency x work. I thought that with time, effort and focus, I could help them see what they were doing wrong.

By the end of the first month, I had persistent headaches, lost my appetite and would be under a dark cloud that got darker with every step I took to the office. I guess I was kind of depressed. It was literally an atmosphere that sucked the life out of you; narcissism that was seriously clinical, very toxic passive aggression and so much backtracking that I literally thought I was going crazy. I later found out that one of the business owners was physically abusive to his partner who was also in the business. That was not surprising as I had seen the signs of emotional abuse. Two days before I quit, I could not get out of bed and cried on the way to the office before my partner convinced me to take a detour to his office instead. In response to my email calling in sick, I was asked why I didn’t leave the office phone (which I had to have 24 hours a day for social media) when I knew I was going to be sick. So I drafted my resignation letter immediately, handed it on a Friday. I was not professional about it but what they did thereafter was more immature and a story for another day. I can still feel a chill just thinking about that experience.

It had to be a place where the leaders were human, the work was manageable, there was a vision and that I could go to sleep at night looking forward to doing what I do again the next day.

After that, I gave myself one month to re-evaluate my goals and to be more purposeful in my job hunt. I vowed that I would not take just any job, it had to work for me too. It had to be a place where the leaders were human, the work was manageable, there was a vision and that I could go to sleep at night looking forward to doing what I do again the next day. I believe that was my biggest lesson in growing up to date. The next job I got after that was a great fit and I honestly think that one day I might end up there again. Why did I move? Two things I figured out that apply to both transitions, first your season also determines the ideal job. There is a time to learn what you don’t want and what you do. Second, and influenced a little from my current read, honest intentions will guide your path to where you are meant to be. I always say that I would rather do my best and fail than do the bare minimum and not grow.

This is not to say that everything is peachy where I am right now. There are days when I question if I am doing the right thing, there are days when I am on top of the world and then there are days when I just can’t imagine doing anything else. Rocking the boat even harder is how much change is taking place in how we work. It is opening up to a new system where busy being busy will not cut it. I can be more productive and have more time to do things for me. I can see how a young working mom can live a life of balance without wearing thin. Where personal development does not take a backseat anymore. Where there is so much more time to dream and make room for creativity.

You are not growing if you are certain of every step you take.

I learnt to let go of the idea that of a workplace that has no problems. You are not growing if you are certain of every step you take. An attitude of learning; learning new skills, learning your standards, learning how to grow and learning to question will bring you wisdom and get you exactly where you need to be to have it all. I forgot to mention, my current read is the Proverbs of Solomon.

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